Hypothetical scenario: someone comes to you on the street, offers you a cell phone FREE OF CHARGE for two weeks, and in return they ask you vote for someone.  Also, during the week, they will text message you and tell you how to vote.  Would you consider that buying a vote?

If yes, then step right up, kids.  That's exactly what the Institute of Religion and Democracy has done.

This past week, delegates from around the world gathered for General Conference for the United Methodist Church.  Their mission?  To listen to the Holy Spirit to give them guidance as they determine doctrine and polity for the UMC for the next four years.

Notice the "listen to the Holy Spirit" part?  To those anti-gay forces that will use any means to continue to bash gay people, that means to them they only have to answer the phone.  

The IRD has attempted to thwart the movement of the Holy Spirit by buying votes at General Conference and telling delegates how to vote.

How?  By giving delegates free cell phones.  

Connectional Denominations (like the United Methodist, Episcopal, Presbyterian, and Catholic churches) are groups of local churches which accede authority and decision making to a central body.  These denominations, for all their faults and graces, have one brilliant color in their paintbrush: the Establishment clause.  

What this refers to is that the true owner of local church property is the governing central body...not the local church.  

Essentially, this keeps churches from knee-jerk secessions from the central body...if they leave, they lose their church property!  Whoops!  This has reigned in many hot-headed churches and kept several denominations in communion with one another.

Recently, however, congregations have turned to litigations and civil law to effect breaks with denominations...to varying success.  Several disputes (Presbyterian and Anglican) have come up that question who rightfully owns the property.  Let's wade through them to find out who legally owns the church, and who morally owns the church.

The Pope has outlawed using non-masculine language for God in the Baptismal liturgy.  The Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has ruled that liturgies for baptism that remove the masculine names for God are invalid and undermine faith in the Trinity.

Pope Rules Out Feminist Theology
The Vatican said anyone baptised under the feminist terms could invalidate their marriage. Cardinal Urbano Navarrete, who wrote a formal commentary on yesterday's ruling, gave warning that anyone who attempted to baptise someone with a gender-neutral form would be penalised. "It is seriously illegitimate and unjust," he said.
Monsignor Antonio Miralles, a professor at the Pontifical Holy Cross University, said the new baptism "subverts faith in the Trinity" because it does not make the relationship between the three persons clear. "God is eternally Father in relation to His only begotten Son, who is not eternally Son except in relation to the Father."

Read more about the effect of liturgical fundamentalism after the jump...

So, I'm in a suburbish small-town.  Six places of worship: Two catholics, an episcopal, a congregational, a United Methodist, and a Jewish temple.  

I am the pastor of the United Methodist Church.

One of the Catholic priests has his own show on community access television.  Today, I was called by a parishioner to turn it on and watch as he spitted vile anti-gay propaganda and literature.  For 30 minutes.  I almost gagged.

It started me thinking: How does one counter the anti-gay message in a small town when it is pastor versus pastor?

I want to counter his message, and my parishioner was encouraging me to, but I'm unsure how to not make it pastor versus pastor...or is that the best way?

Al Gore for President.

LINK: Gay Women and Men Should Have the Same Rights

Yes, it's a short post.  Yes, it's a short video.  But a large step for democratkind as more and more of them reach in their pants and grow a pair.  Of ovaries, of course.

Thoughts?

The Democrat and Republican caucuses have scheduled their voting for January 19th. To save you a trip to the calendar, that's a Saturday.

Oh, and the caucuses are scheduled at 9am and 11:30am. That's a Saturday morning, for those of you just tuning in.

And for the win, when is Shabbat (the Sabbath) and holy services for those of the Jewish faith?  Ah yes, Saturday morning.  Oops.

Observant Jews Effectively Barred from Nevada Caucuses
This year, the Nevada Democratic and Republican parties have decided to hold their primary caucuses on a Saturday, with citizens required to report by 11:30 and 9:00 AM respectively, right during morning religious services.

A UCC Church in Michigan has been denied insurance based on its pro-equality stance on gay rights and marriage issues.  And it is legal.

LINK Brotherhood Mutual, a Fort Wayne, Ind.-based insurance company, turned down the business of the West Adrian United Church of Christ after learning the church "publicly endorses" same-sex marriage and gay clergy.

"Based on national media reports, controversial stances such as those ... have resulted in property damage and potential for increased litigation among churches that have chosen publicly to endorse these positions," wrote Marci J. Fretz, a regional underwriter for Brotherhood Mutual, in a July 30 letter to the West Adrian Church.  The letter was made public by the United Church of Christ.

Incidentally, this is the same company that also canceled the policies of black churches during a rash of arson cases in the 1990s.

Read more after the break.

So, this week Fred Thompson claims, through a TIME article on him, that he has the support of 40 million conservative United Methodists.

Fred Thompson claims UM support
Thompson is also hoping endorsements from the National Right to Life Committee and the Wesleyan Center for Strategic Studies, an umbrella group for 40 million conservative Methodists across the U.S., will help him in Iowa.

Right.  Considering that there are only 8.1 million United Methodists in America as of 2006, then I think we've got some new math going on.

Check out this phony Wesleyan Center after the jump.

Well, as you know, I'm a United Methodist Church pastor, and we've just gotten walloped with snow, ice, sleet, and cows falling from the sky with reckless abandon.  

So, for the first time in two years, I've canceled church.  

Oh, the horror of that decision!  Here's my pros and cons:

PRO-CLOSING

• Most of my membership is over 60, so I didn't want people outside in near-whiteout conditions.
• I walked here at 7am, and I barely made it.  
• The roads are not plowed yet.  Even though there's a few hours until service, my congregants are sparsely settled.

ANTI-CLOSING

• We have a ministry team doing good work tomorrow evening and today was a special offering for them.  So their cash supply will be low.  Boo.
• It removes another choir rehearsal from the choir for their big events Christmas week.  And I don't know if they will be able to make it up.  Sad.
• I had a great sermon written!  Sometimes, you just know it will work out magically, and this one was going to!  Maybe I can save it for next week...maybe. ;-)

Dear God.

Mr. Murdoch, who has destroyed news reporting through his Fox News, has now bought the number one interfaith and religion website.

LINK: Rupert Murdoch Buys Beliefnet
Beliefnet, with its three million unique visitors each month and 11 million daily newsletter subscribers, has been acquired by Fox Entertainment Group, which is part of News Corp.

The jokes' on CNN. They have a section in a report about the Republican contenders for president about Romney.

They joke about Romney botching a scripture reference.

But the joke is on CNN. Can anyone show me what is wrong with this writeup? (after the break)

The UMC Hymnal survey is ending TOMORROW, NOVEMBER 6th.  Get in your votes for the progressive hymns now!

GO HERE AND VOTE: Hymnal Survey

Previous diary: Methodist Progressive Hymns Targeted

The notification letter is after the break.  But vote anyway!